it's a rough world out there in facebook land

So, a friend of mine had a goofy picture of herself on her facebook page, and as a result had many humorous comments. One tool however, whom I have never met, left a really long, rambling, retarded comment that had nothing to do with the picture, and was obviously trying pretty pathetically to make himself look interesting and deep. So I, being unable to restrain myself from the perfect timing and placement, quoted Billy Madison:

"At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
- Billy Madison

Minutes later, the guy removed his retarded comment and left a new one that said: "there ya go." A few minutes after that, this chain of facebook messages began:

[To protect his identity, fragile ego and penis envy, his name has been altered to something that isn't really much different from what it actually is.]

Jerik Gayes

I hope that your post on Christy's photo wasn't directed toward me. If so, I'll smack you when I see you you.

Jake Hawken

Wow. Did you seriously just say that?

Jerik Gayes

yes sir. if your comment was directed to me and you don't know me,i don't see that as funny. i will let Christy's know how you are acting

just don't let it happen again

Jake Hawken

I will take no directions, such as "don't let it happen again" from you. I recognize no authority, inherent or otherwise, in you such that you can give such policemanly directions to me.
Also, is Christy my mom? You're going to "let Christy know how I'm acting?" Seriously? You have some sort of authority complex, my friend. You talk to me like a teacher threatening to call a kid's mom. Then you talk to me like a cop issuing a warning after a moving violation. Get over yourself.
Furthermore, regarding your threat:
1) I am not in the slightest bit afraid of your threat to "smack" me.
2) Should I call the cops on your ass now? There's enough information between Facebook and the BYU website to give the cops a pretty good lead on contacting you. (You're a BYU student from [removed] graduating in [removed].)
3) If you even have 2 brain cells to rub together, you probably won't ever try what you're threatening.

Get a life dude. If you're getting offended and worked up over something said in a pretty public forum on a pretty public website, you have the temperament of an angst-ridden 15 year old. Grow up.

Oh, and by the way, you stutter when you type. "You're going to smack me when you see me me."

I then clicked the "Report Message" link next to his threatening message and reported him to facebook for harassment. As an automatic result, he was blocked from sending me messages, so he sent a message to Jank (my son, who is a stuffed monkey with boxing gloves) trying to remain sounding tough. Tough man, Mr. Gayes, you threatened a plush monkey.

Man, this town breeds some serious thugs.