The New Place - Part 3: Man vs. Can

All I had to eat in my apartment was a can of tuna and a box of Tuna Helper. I went to prepare my final meal only to discover with horror that there was no can opener in the apartment; like somehorrible Daffy Duck cartoon come to life!
Bound and deterined to eat my friggin' Tuna Helper, I used a hammer-and-chisel method with a knife and frying pan, followed by lots of groaning and prying. Eventually, I tore the thing open and felt very proud of myself.
Minutes later I found THIS in a box.